An insight into my creative world, sharing my knowledge and experience, to help artists, songwriters and producers take their careers to the next level.
I spent five hours trying to answer one question.
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a couple of weeks ago I spent five hours lying down with a blindfold on, listening to music and trying to think about one thing: why am I still so scared of failing? it sounds a little hippy dippy, but over the last five years I’ve done a handful of guided introspective journeys to work on myself. one of them, two years ago, gave me the push to seriously pursue moving to LA. but that’s a story for another time. this time, back in Toronto, I wanted to understand where my fear of failure comes from. 15 years ago, I tried moving to LA to make things happen. it didn’t work out the way I hoped. and even now, part of me still feels that old pressure. why do networking events still make me anxious? why do I feel like I have to prove myself? for five hours I tried to find the answer. but every answer felt forced. like I was trying too hard to manufacture some profound revelation. and strangely, the one thing that kept coming back wasn’t the past. it was the present. where I am now. I have a partner I love. our dogs. a home that feels like mine. friends and family I care deeply about. and I’m living some version of the life teenage Rich imagined watching The OC and thinking: one day I want to be out there making music. maybe I’d been so focused on understanding the past and worrying about the future that I’d stopped noticing what was already happening in front of me. and maybe we all do some version of this. will this work out? will I make enough money? will the thing I’m building actually become what I hope it will? we look backwards trying to explain ourselves. then forwards trying to predict what might happen. and somewhere in between, we hesitate. we wait. we overthink. we tell ourselves we’ll move when we feel more certain. but certainty usually doesn’t come first. action does. you try. sometimes you fuck up. you learn. you adjust. sometimes you change direction completely. then you try again. courage isn’t knowing you’re going to succeed. it’s being willing to move forward without knowing what’s to come. you don’t need every answer before you begin. and you don’t need to know exactly how it’s going to turn out. you just have to stop letting fear make the decision for you. |
Rich Pilkington.
An insight into my creative world, sharing my knowledge and experience, to help artists, songwriters and producers take their careers to the next level.
I went to Beatport Connect in LA a couple of weeks ago. there were panels with artists, producers and people from different sides of the electronic music industry. and one thing kept coming up. stop chasing what everyone else is doing. funny enough, I regularly preach exactly this to a lot of the artists I work with. because it’s incredibly easy to do. you hear a record blowing up. a particular sound starts appearing everywhere. and naturally, you think: maybe I should be making more of that....
the first producer room officially wrapped this weekend. for the last two weeks, I’ve been working closely with five artists and producers on their music. different genres. different styles. different stages of their careers. and honestly, I think I learned almost as much from the experience as they did. but one thing kept coming up in different ways. we probably need to trust ourselves a little more. and I don’t think that’s just a music problem. the longer you spend creating anything, the...
I turned 37 last week. which doesn't sound right. I'm pretty sure I'm still about 28. my dad always used to tell me that the older you get, the faster time goes. I assumed that was just something old people said. annoyingly, he was right. birthdays have a funny way of making you take stock. not necessarily of what you've achieved, but of what you're starting to understand. and I definitely don't have everything figured out. my to-do list, for example, has somehow continued to get longer...