I turned 37 last week.

which doesn't sound right.

I'm pretty sure I'm still about 28.

my dad always used to tell me that the older you get, the faster time goes.

I assumed that was just something old people said.

annoyingly, he was right.

birthdays have a funny way of making you take stock.

not necessarily of what you've achieved, but of what you're starting to understand.

and I definitely don't have everything figured out.

my to-do list, for example, has somehow continued to get longer despite me completing things on it every single day.

I'm still unsure whether this is a producer problem, a self-employed problem, or a Rich problem.

I'm leaning towards the latter.

I still worry about the future.

I worry about money.

I wonder whether my artist project will become what I want it to become.

I set career targets and then quietly wonder whether I'll ever actually hit them.

I don't think getting older magically makes any of that disappear.

but I am getting less scared of trying.

the producer room had been sitting in my head for a couple of years because part of me was terrified I'd launch it and nobody would care.

tomorrow, the first one starts.

I felt the same about making an album.

what if nobody listens?

eventually I realised I wanted to make it anyway.

and I think that's something I'm getting better at.

doing things because they matter to me, even when there's no guarantee they'll work.

maybe we could all worry a little less about whether something is going to work,

and do it because it matters to us anyway.

I'm also becoming more protective of my time.

not just my working time.

the opposite.

slow mornings.

dinner with friends.

calling my family.

getting outside.

travelling.

making my home somewhere I actually want to spend time.

I'm still terrible at feeling like I've spent enough time with the people I care about.

because there's always more work to do.

another song to finish, email to send, piece of content to make or thing to cross off the list.

but I'm starting to realise there always will be.

the to-do list isn't going anywhere. the people eventually will.

and maybe that's why health matters more to me every year too.

eating well.

exercising.

getting outdoors.

sleeping properly.

taking actual time away from a screen.

none of it is particularly groundbreaking.

but I'm increasingly convinced that all the career stuff becomes pretty meaningless if you don't look after yourself enough to enjoy it.

and for all the things I still haven't figured out, I'm proud of a few things too.

last year I moved to a new country and started all over again.

teenage me used to dream about moving to LA to pursue music one day.

I'm actually here doing it.

it doesn't look exactly how I imagined it would.

still figuring out my career.

still apparently incapable of finishing a to-do list.

but maybe that's growing up.

not finally having everything figured out.

just getting a little better at knowing what actually matters.